Transfer of Power — From My Heart
The truth is that you have all the power all the time.
Doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life with people or circumstance.
It’s all with you.
There are lots of ways to say this:
You create your reality.
You are the author of your experience.
You are a complete, undistorted expression and extension of the Divine.
You are a child of God.
These statements are very attractive when we are living in Controlling Consciousness (and **very** agitating when we’re living in Victim Consciousness).
If I create everything (I have all the power), and I’m not happy with any aspect of my life or my experience, I have the power to fix it. I can fix it.
My thoughts create my reality.
And this is true.
What do you do then, when you don’t know how to fix it?
When you can’t figure out how to change what’s going on in your life?
When changing your thoughts seems impossible?
How do you regain control (if this is the goal)?
When I think about these questions, I think about the movement between the first three stages of consciousness, and what we could call the transfer of power.
When I’m in Victim Consciousness, I see situations or other people as being responsible for how I’m feeling and what I’m experiencing. In other words, I have given them my power.
When I move into Manifestor/Controlling Consciousness, I see myself as responsible for how I’m feeling and what I’m experiencing. In other words, I have called my power home.
When I move into Conduit Consciousness, I see myself as an instrument of the Divine and I surrender to whatever is and stop struggling to control. In other words, I have acknowledged the source of my power – the Divine – and recognized that Divine energy is greater than me. In surrendering, I open myself up to a more complete experience of what is truly available to me, without attempting to control how that happens, or indeed, WHAT happens.
I explored the transfer of power in a profound way in the first six months of 2011. It’s a time in my life I reflect back on often as it showed me a pathway forward on my spiritual journey.
In December of 2010, I left my career in mortgage lending. I had started doing group sessions via webcast a few months prior. People were signing up, and the feedback was good. I was ready to completely dedicate my life to my calling, and stop having the distraction of a business that didn’t feel at all congruent to who I was becoming. I also felt powerfully guided in these actions.
It would be an exaggeration to say I had no business in January of ’11 – but there was a significant decrease. I told myself, no big deal – I’ve got a couple thousand dollars saved from the mortgage business – I’m sure things will pick up.
I had launched my first website in August of ’10 – and I started really looking at the messages that I was sharing there, and what I was writing in my regular communication with people who had subscribed to my emails. I found a pretty big disconnect between what I was saying and what was real. I was projecting what I’ve come to call “Magic Pill Spirituality” (a simple solution for all your problems – and I’ve got it for you!) – but what I was living was different. Things were hard. There wasn’t a magic pill.
In February the trend line continued, and I started to get very angry with God. “What are you doing to me?!!!” I would yell in frustration and anger. “What am supposed to do now??!!!” “I’ve done everything YOU wanted me to do – now what??!!!”
I was in victim consciousness big time.
To add to it, whenever someone approached me about working with me, I became very needy. I gave them the power to make or break me.
At the same time, I attended a weekend workshop hosted by my good friends Rachael Jayne & Datta Groover at their home. They brought in a friend of theirs from Ashland, Oregon to teach the workshop on the Enneagram. If I remember correctly, they generously fronted me the money to attend the workshop and let me pay them back months later. I am forever grateful for their generosity and the workshop … it changed my life.
A big piece of the puzzle came clear to me during this workshop. To that point, I had seen two fundamental problems that I couldn’t figure out: Self Love and Money.
After the workshop, I realized they were one problem. Every time I interacted with a potential customer, I was looking to them to prove that I was loveable … by hiring me. Ahhh self love!
From two problems, to one, and I still wasn’t getting enough new business to pay my bills.
I vacillated between being angry at God, angry at myself, angry at the world, and trying to put on a positive attitude.
At the same time, I was extremely grateful to the clients I had and the opportunity to serve that they were giving me. In these moments of grateful clarity I realized what an extraordinary experience (and gift) it was to be doing something so meaningful in my life, much less attempting to make a living sharing this gift with others.
Yet my money was dwindling. My options were running out. My house had been foreclosed on in early February – I had moved into a former colleague’s mother-in-law-suite – and I was starting to worry about paying rent, and being able to buy food, or pay other basic living expenses.
As May came and went, I began realizing that I may need to stop trying to make my living in this way. I reached out to an old friend who was in banking with an email asking him if I could take him to lunch and pick his brain about getting back into banking or financial services. The email bounced.
I started panicking.
One minute I was the victim of everything in my life – and at the core, I couldn’t figure out self love. The next, I knew I was creating everything – but I couldn’t figure out how to fix it, or what to change. As a recovering Type A personality, I wanted to be able to control everything in my life. And the truth was, I couldn’t control anything.
And then there was the question of surrender.
I had been “playing with” surrender for a couple of years. Each time I surrendered, I felt backed into a corner with no options. I would release control because I didn’t see any other way forward, and each time, I would experience relief. As soon as I felt relief I would re-exert control again. And the cycle of relief, pain, suffering, and surrender would repeat itself over and over again in many areas of my life. The underwriting theme to it all? Self Love.
In early June I had an epiphany. It took me a long time to consciously acknowledge a fact that had been so obvious: I was responsible for everything in my life. Everything!!
And then this (which was the key to unlocking surrender for me): I didn’t know how to fix it.
Only one option remained at that point: to let go of control completely. No repeats of prior patterns – control – then surrender – then control again. This time it would be complete.
Time to transfer power (and control) to the Source!
On the 30th of June I surrendered completely. And a new experience began to unfold immediately.
It didn’t mean lots of money in the bank the next day (in fact, in August of ’11 my ex-wife was giving me gift cards to the local grocery store so I could buy food). Instead, it meant I accepted everything exactly as it was. I followed guidance completely.
If that meant back into banking, so be it. If it meant homeless because the money wasn’t there for rent, so be it. Whatever the issue was, I accepted it fully.
And with this, I experienced unconditional love for the first time in my life – with me as the source and the recipient.
So my question for you is: How can you transfer power in your life right now? Is there an opportunity to take responsibility? Or to surrender completely?
Are you ready to be liberated, and be free of the source of all your suffering?
Are you ready to transfer power?
The pathway is clearly lit. What will you do?
For my part I continue to practice transferring power. When I find myself in Victim – I take responsibility.
When I find myself attached to outcomes or caught in control I surrender. This turns out to be a moment-by-moment practice many days.
And when the going gets rough, I remember the first six months of 2011 and everything I learned.
My motivation to surrender moves between an interest in exploring deeper resonance, to avoiding the pain and suffering my attachments and attempts to control create. In these moments of wanting to remove dissonance, I remember the awareness (it felt like a nightmare at the time) that I created in the first half of 2011 … and I let go of control and surrender completely.
That’s it for this week … From My Heart.
From the bottom of my soul, I’m grateful that we’re connected in this way.
Ken W. Stone
The Soul Archaeologist
Experience the Divine Within