Opening to Deeper Resonance in 2019
You may not know it, but I sit with you and every other member of our community each morning spiritually. Most mornings it’s around 7a Mountain. Some days it’s earlier, some days, later. In some ways, the two hours that follow are the most sacred of my day. It’s my writing time. As I have for nearly every morning this year, I am working on finishing my first book.
I was having lunch with my friend Scott in November and he asked me how the book was coming along. As I was answering, I realized that he didn’t know that I’ve been working on editing the book and actually finishing it. I’m so with the interior of the process, I have been using the same words for years: “I’m working on finishing my first book”
But the meaning of these words has changed over time. The book is done. It’s the finishing touches, edits and refinements that are unfolding right now.
So why do I sit with you before I start writing each morning?
With you, my calling has come into form. With you, I get to share my Divinely bestowed gifts, even as I learn more about them. With you, I have learned so much more than I ever could have on my own about the system of being that we explore each time we go into transmission together.
When I reflect back on this year, there are several themes that bubble up to the top:
2018 brought with it a new form of surrender for me. An invitation to let go without any drama, without any of my historical approaches to control and getting caught up in the projections of my separate self before finally releasing control. An invitation to simply trust fully the guidance that was coming in, no matter where it led me.
There were three significant points of surrender for me in 2018:
==> The first came in late January/early February when I received guidance to postpone The Resonance Experiment and instead focus on finishing my book. I followed guidance, even as alarm bells were going off about the risk of running my business into the ground if I didn’t engage with the Experiment.
==> The second came in April or May when it became clear to me what my one thing is: to write. I first received this awareness back in February of 2012 at a retreat. The message I wrote in my journal at the time was: your writing is more important than any session or class you could ever facilitate or teach. It’s the most important thing you will ever do.
It took me more than six years to really honor this guidance. Since honoring it and focusing on writing at the start of each day for several hours, no matter what else might be going on, something extraordinary has opened up in my experience. The pressures that once inspired me to wake up and focus on working on copy for my new website, or taking care of some very important business function have simply melted away. The website is nearly done, with a few final touches in the next week, it will be complete. Nothing has fallen apart. Instead, I’ve experienced the most sustained and significant increase in resonance in my life . . . because I began to honor my one thing.
==> The third point of surrender in 2018 came when I cancelled The Resonance Experiment for September, though to be fair it felt like more of a footnote when it happened than a major point of surrender.
The more I have surrendered this year, the more I’ve experienced God’s grace and presence in every part of my being and life. The things I once thought I was responsible for making happen, I’m now clear I’m not. As a result, I am experiencing a deeper peace, and a more profound sense of connection than ever before.
The new way of letting go of control that I’ve explored this year has brought with it a maturity and refinement never before present. A confidence from being in the Mystery, without any points of navigation or reassurance beyond my inner sense of resonance, and the guidance that continues to be more and more pronounced.
From Conventional to Unconventional
If the primary theme of 2018 has been a surrender workshop, the secondary theme has been a transition from a conventional life, to an unconventional life. My life has been trending this way for years – since I left mortgage lending completely at the end of 2010, and focused entirely on following my Divine Mission as I understand it. 2018 brought with it an invitation to live a completely spirit led life. To disengage with the rational process of solving or addressing apparent problems by utilizing the power and resources of my mind, and instead surrender more fully to the Divine, wherever that would lead me.
In the past, I’ve preferred to share about my experiences with surrender that took place in the distant past, if for no other reason than the result is known, and the story is sanitized of whatever deep inner challenges were present as it unfolded in real time. This year I’ve taken a different approach, preferring to share the raw feed with you. It’s felt much more authentic to me. It was a real concern in February that I didn’t know how my bills would be paid, and I really did wonder how the year would turn out. Rather than projecting myself forward into a homeless situation once again, I simply turned it all over to God without much fuss.
My separate self’s “last stand” seems to be around financial matters, so it makes sense that this is the last triggered aspect of fully letting go of control.
As it turns out the bills have all been paid, but I can’t really explain how. I don’t mean that someone came along and wrote a big check or that I found a buried treasure full of gold coins. I simply mean that I stopped concerning myself with how these things would be addressed, and God has taken care of it.
Intimacy with God
The third theme of 2018 has been greater intimacy with God. It’s the third because it has flowed directly from the first two themes. But it’s the most important theme of the year. Intimacy with God has been the result of surrendering in a new way and of shifting from a conventional to an unconventional life.
I can give you a couple of simple examples:
First: the writing process with the book has led me into a space of extraordinary intimacy with God. I sit and transcribe each morning. I ask questions, and the answers flow in. I read a section and it doesn’t make sense, so I make a note that more is needed, and the next time I visit that section, the transcription is waiting for me. As a result of this process, I feel closer and more connected to God than ever before.
Second: about a month ago I woke up and I was in a funk. Feeling sad, anxious, and generally not in the groove. It happens from time to time, and since writing is my morning practice, whenever I’m feeling off, I journal instead of working in the book. As I started journaling on this morning I quickly came to the realization that financial concerns were the apparent source of my upset. I could see very clearly that my separate self was projecting forward by a month or two or three, and was VERY concerned about what was going to happen with regard to the funds necessary to ensure a stable life experience.
As I was journaling I kept hearing a voice that I am very familiar with. The voice of God – the one I listen too while I’m transcribing and working on the book. My journaling was something on the order of (addressing my separate self):
For the love of all that’s holy, when are you going to give up on this theme and just let go? Everything is being taken care of, always has been always will be.
And as I’m writing this to my separate self on the page – in comes the voice:
Ask me anything. I am with you.
So I took that quite literally, and started writing my questions and giving voice to the concerns of my separate self in the form of direct questions to God. And just like that, my fingers start dancing across the keyboard and out comes the answer again, and again, and again.
When I’m transcribing the book, I hear God’s voice, and at the same time my fingers type on their own. Sometimes the two are separated by a few milliseconds – almost like an echo. But in this case, I saw the answer first, and when my separate self wondered if I was making it up, the voice said I am here. I am with you. This is real.
I’ve shared this happening with three people.
There’s a man I see locally, who supports me and I told him about it. I even read the exchange out loud to him. We both cried while I was reading it, it was that powerful.
I shared it with my sweetheart.
And I told a friend of mine about it, who wondered if I was rationalizing an apparently disappointing result from an offer I had made that had the potential to fund all my financial needs through the publication of the book in 2019. An offer, by the way, that came from thinking about my upcoming financial needs, and trying to come up with a solution, rationally. It was a good question, and the answer was no. When I’ve been attached to outcomes, there is much to rationalize or if I’m focused on coming back into resonance, process. Fully surrendered, there is nothing to rationalize or process.
Do I know what is going to happen next as a result of asking God these questions? Not at all. The distilled answer over and over again was: I’ve got this covered. Always have always will. Follow the pull you feel so clearly, and everything will unfold perfectly, as it always has. It doesn’t sound like much for my separate self to hang its hat on, but as it turns out, it was exactly what was needed.
Why am I sharing this with you? The simple answer is because God is guiding me to share this with you. I feel vulnerable in doing so. Yet I am reminded of the many times before when I have felt that I went too far in sharing (in a class, or during the Experiment, or in a letter to you and the rest of the community) and subsequently, someone reflected on that exact moment and shared with me how essential that point of vulnerability was in their own journey.
It’s still challenging for me to really understand this, even though I know at the level of my essence it is real. My deep knowing is that I must continually be more vulnerable than my separate self is comfortable with, if I am to truly serve. And since I never really know how the ways that I am serving actually impact you and other members of our community, I am left to trust the guidance, and direction I am receiving from God.
Intimacy met with authenticity, vulnerability, and humility leads to greater intimacy. Humility and vulnerability, I struggle with. My ego doesn’t like either. It wants to wait until there’s a good story to tell so it can ignore all the challenges and unrefined details that comprise everyone’s life, including mine. I also struggle with authenticity, for fear that my authentic truth may offend or create a disconnect with another. My whole self knows there is no good or bad story to tell, only a journey to faithfully report on authentically by speaking my truth, for only in my truth can I be who I really am. As I write these words, tears start to flow. I know this is real, and whatever discomforts I am experiencing from having revealed this deeper intimate part of my inner experience with the Divine, I know I am serving God because the Divine has led me to share these things. And that is enough.
I started out wanting to write a simple email about the end of the year, and opening to the New Year in greater resonance, LOL!! Instead THIS has flowed!!
However you interpret what has unfolded in your life this year spiritually or otherwise, I want to remind you that the Divine is patiently waiting to more fully express itself in, through, and as you in every aspect of your body, mind, being, and life. What’s required for this to happen? Let go of more control.
Is it really that simple?
Perhaps you’ll read this book when it’s published – I hope you do. It has within it, bar none, the most powerful written transmission of the system of being that I have been exploring and teaching my entire career. I’m doing a book study right now with some members of our community, and I can’t believe the depth of the transmission I’m receiving as a function of reading and exploring the book with this circle.
By the way: if you’d like to dip into the river of consciousness from which this book and every other expression of Divine Resonance that exists, flows from this week, I invite you to join me for the final Solstice Transmission on Friday of this week (the 21st of December, 2018 – it’s free). This session will be a powerful way to energetically open to deeper resonance in your life as we celebrate this powerful transition point, and springboard into 2019.
May the deep and profound presence of the Divine Mystery that is within you as much as it is (or has ever been) within anyone, continue to reveal itself more fully in, through, and as you with each breath that you take.
May the love that surrounds us all, expressed even more powerfully in each of us, find new expression and awareness in you with the transition into the New Year.
And may the resonance that is your true nature be more fully experienced by you in your body, mind, and life in 2019.
Further Into the Mystery – All the More Extraordinary with You!