Gift Resistance — From My Heart
Is there one aspect of your spiritual gifts that you’re especially resistant to?
You know, the thing that you write off completely with some story – but if you’re being real and vulnerable, it’s because the idea of that gift being real terrifies you? It probably has something to do with being killed or persecuted in a prior lifetime, if that helps you narrow it down.
Well, here’s another note from the Divine inviting you to explore this. It’s fertile ground and something powerful is waiting to express through you, if only you’ll be present to it.
The gift that I’ve been resisting from day one is my intuitive awareness. I even have jokes with longtime clients about how “I’m no psychic” and all the ways we both know that I don’t have an intuitive channel.
I used to tell a story that “I’ve asked not to know details, so I’m not in the business of dispensing specific advice or insights into how life can or should go.” As you’ll see these words are very important on so many different fronts.
It wasn’t until I surrendered completely that I was able to “see” intuitively. It just happened – one minute the world looked “normal” and the next, I could see energy moving through everything. It made me laugh and cry at the same time, it was so beautiful and moving.
I looked at a blade of grass or a tree and could see the consciousness there (no different than me or you, by the way). I looked at a body and could see the areas where the energy wasn’t flowing. By leaving my eyes on those areas, the energy would quickly start to flow.
I went from being able to feel when the resonance returned to the body (or other aspects of the individual) to being able to see it. A profound shift to be sure!
And yet I continued to resist the idea that had intuitive gifts. It’s hilarious to me as I’m writing you. But that’s where I was at, at the time.
Last fall I facilitated a retreat on the East coast of the US. I came in a couple of days early to sink and resonate where the retreat would be … and to do final preparations.
My good friend Christine found out when I was arriving – and immediately started getting excited about a local event with an intuitive/healer that she works with – a group reading of sorts. I was resistant (there’s a theme here as well, LOL!) to the idea – making excuses about needing to go shopping for supplies and snacks. Christine took care of that by offering to get what I needed on her way to the retreat.
With all objections clearly addressed, you’d think I would have jumped at the opportunity. But nooooo – I was still resisting!
Eventually I got on board – heading for Christine’s early on Saturday morning to spend the day with her, her family – and this brilliant woman named Katye.
When my turn for a reading came around, Katye turned to her partner and asked him what he was getting. His response: a blind healer. He proceeded to talk about a prior life where I was the seer for a king. I didn’t predict a critical attack. Once the king had regained his domain, he blinded me for my failure to see. He spoke of a deep seated fear of getting it wrong with regard to sharing my intuitive gifts. Said it would be helpful for me to remind myself of the year. His words resonated deeply with me. And unlocked a way for me to approach this gift that I’d been resisting.
Last week a client I’ve worked with monthly for nearly three years had her July session. For the last 4 or so months, we’ve started the session with me giving her a “reading” of what I’m getting immediately after I “plug in” and before she says anything. The impact of these readings has been powerful for her – and for me.
I guess you could say that I’m slowly starting to embrace this gift. Reminds me of my response to being told about my gift in the fall of 2007. Initially I was excited, but then I started to realize it was real. Then I resisted it in so many different ways on many different levels for more than two years.
Resistance – it’s a theme with me. Especially when it’s the truth. Here’s another funny example. The first time someone told me I should be working on groups of people I was horrified and immediately went into serious resistance. Subsequently, I was telling my friend Tim about this, and he said: “there are two reasons for this kind of response: it’s the truth, or it’s not the truth. You’ll figure it out, Ken.” Of course he already knew what took me a while to figure out.
My question for you (and me too) is this: what are you resisting right now? [with this note to self: resistance is a form of control – don’t forget!]
I’ve been sitting on ideas – resisting the pull of resonance. Time to step into these and confront the places where I’ve been exerting control through resistance. Once I’ve done that, the next step is to surrender – to let go of control and follow the resonance. Who knows where it will lead!
That’s it for this week … From My Heart.
Ken W. Stone
The Soul Archaeologist
Experience the Divine Within