Finding the Edge — From My Heart
Are you on the edge?
The edge is always changing.
It’s your edge, or my edge – but not THE edge.
The edge of consciousness is predicated on your consciousness.
I have been feeling the tug to go back to the bleeding edge of consciousness again.
Have you been feeling this tug too?
In September of 2007 the bleeding edge of consciousness for me was attending an Art of Living part 2 course in Sedona, Arizona.
In August I had learned to meditate in a part 1 course.
I felt called to go to Sedona, but I couldn’t say why exactly.
The hallmark of that call was fear.
I was being invited to step into my fear.
Fear of being in a spiritual group where I didn’t know anyone.
Fear of doing something spiritual that resonated deeply, but that I didn’t really understand.
Fear of being in silence for 4 or 5 days.
Fear of eating vegan and meditating for 5 days.
Fear of sharing a room with other men I didn’t know.
Fear of not fitting in.
Fear of having time to discover myself – worried about what I would find.
Yet I went.
A pattern I had been repeating over and over again in 2007 to that point: stepping into my fear.
Each time I stepped in, something new, powerful and beautiful happened.
Speaking my truth is an area where I’m on the edge.
The act of self love contained in speaking my truth is a powerful opportunity that continues to invite me deeper into my fear.
After learning to meditate I started getting in touch with myself in a way I hadn’t ever been before.
My dad, brother, and brother-in-law had planned a bike trip through the Northwest part of the US in September of 2007.
In April they invited me to join them.
In early September, I called my dad and spoke my truth.
While I yearned for meaningful time with him I didn’t feel like the bike trip was for me.
It was really hard to tell him these things.
I very much wanted a closer relationship with my dad – as well as my brother and my brother-in-law. Hanging out with them and riding bikes would be a good way to be closer – to be more “part of the club.”
Yet I knew that it was not for me.
Speaking my truth is one of the components for me to be on the bleeding edge.
Without realizing it at the time, telling my dad I wouldn’t be doing the bike trip opened a door for me to attend the part 2 course in Sedona.
It also opened up a more vulnerable level of communication between my dad and me.
That trip to Sedona changed my life.
While there I was told I should be working as a healer by a fellow participant.
The bleeding edge of consciousness is a good perspective from which to live my life.
What does the bleeding edge of consciousness look like for you?
For me it’s about stepping back into my fear.
To stop playing it safe with how I’m writing and putting myself out in the world.
To speak and write my truth.
To be vulnerable. More than I think I should, or even think is reasonable.
To send out invitations to my first retreat.
[Note: you may wonder: what’s the fear around this? Practicing unreasonable vulnerability: It’s not the retreat – there are few better ways I can imagine spending a week of my life than with a group of like minded people who want to explore their spirituality, gifts, and purpose in a deeper way.
My fear is: what will the response be to the invitation? I’ve been practicing my surrender process: If no one signs up it’s OK. I have felt guided for a long time to offer this. The deposit is paid for the retreat facility. Now it’s time to send out the invite. If it works, wahoo! If it doesn’t, that’s OK – I can accept that – the offer, the timing, or something else just wasn’t right. If it doesn’t get a good response I’m OK with that … now I surrender it all to God.]
To finish the writing for my new website that will be answering the question “What is Spiritual Healing?”
[Note: you may once again wonder: what’s the fear with this? More unreasonable vulnerability, LOL: I’ve been working on a new website strategy for several years. I’ve tested it several times with great success. Now it’s proof of concept time – but this time it’s with my Foundations of Spiritual Mastery I course – a course that flowed out of me in such a powerful place of resonance (feels more vulnerable than simply testing a business idea on the web).
If it works, I could be working with hundreds, perhaps thousands of new people each month through this program. It’s all fine and well to have ideas, plans and theory, but now it’s time for the rubber to hit the road. And it’s calling me to step more fully into my true nature and get out of the way and stop fussing with the details or thinking I can make it better.
It’s time to trust God. Easy to do in some parts of my life – or when I’m in session. Apparently more challenging with this project. Another thing to surrender … OK God it’s in your hands].
And the thing that will bring me completely back on the bleeding edge of consciousness: finishing my book.
It’s time for me to dance on the edge again.
What’s on your list of things that will bring you back (or perhaps for the first time) to the bleeding edge of consciousness for you?
That’s it for this week…From My Heart.
Thank you for including me in your life, and inviting me to join you on the journey. It’s a wild ride, made all the more fun when we enjoy it together!
Ken W Stone
“The Soul Archaeologist”
Experience the Divine Within