Un-Sanitized — From My Heart
One of my challenges is living my life and communicating from an un-sanitized place.
What I mean by un-sanitized, is raw, unrefined, vulnerable and authentic.
I keep sanitizing certain aspects of my life, projecting an image, and hiding myself. I do this to protect myself against the things that I fear (separation – in the form of rejection).
When I sanitize, I am creating separation. I am the one rejecting. I reject myself before you can reject me (thus the façade of something other than who I am or what I believe). Out of an attempt to control I create the exact thing I fear: separation.
It’s as if I am saying to you: “You won’t like the real me, so I’m going to put on this act to save you the trouble of rejecting me. Then we can still be friends.”
Yet if I do this what kind of relationship with you, or even more importantly – me – results?
To live one’s life from heart space can be scary.
It means being vulnerable.
Putting away the façade and all the other mechanisms of protection that we all deploy.
Moving from the head to the heart is the first step of embodying the soul.
The embodied heart is an encounter with love that we are all longing for.
For many of us, we think this encounter will be too painful – so we stop it at all costs.
We hold back with our friends for fear that if we express our true love for them or our actual feelings or perspective we might be rejected.
We isolate and suppress our authentic voice around our family because we think our perspective doesn’t fit within the family’s belief system or experience.
We remember an earlier heart wound – perhaps even one we’re not consciously aware of – and we protect against this wound being revisited or deepened.
If we persist, eventually we can be lost to ourselves. We forget not only who we are but also what our inner voice sounds like or how to trust it when we are able to hear our soul’s whisper.
Then something happens. An experience. An epiphany.
And we begin to awake.
And we once again encounter our heart.
Will we be vulnerable this time?
Will we choose a different path?
I am aware that one who is fully integrated both has no need to communicate and – if they are called to teach, does so from a place that speaks to every level of consciousness with one set of words. They need not segment their message. There is but one message.
I struggle, knowing that I am not yet experiencing myself as fully integrated.
I struggle with my desire to teach and share awareness and experience. Is this a calling from the Divine, or is my desire an artifact of my ego? Am I getting out of the way completely or am I inserting myself (my agenda, ego, mind, etc.)?
Sometimes the message I share is simple, other times it is complex and obscure. My heart and my soul communicate in simple ways. My head makes things complex.
My head leads to separation. Separation is seductive to the mind – it always leads to more to think (and worry) about.
Yet the mind, body, and soul are equal.
When we experience the three become one we are experiencing full integration, enlightenment, Spiritual Mastery.
God meets us exactly where we are. Exactly. Not as a parent with judgment or a judge with a law to enforce, but as an equal, a partner – as the other half.
Must you be right? Must you always have the answer? Must you be in control?
If the answer is yes, the Divine allows it – just as an equal partner.
If the answer is no, once we surrender (release control) the Divine has room to express more fully – just as an equal partner.
We come from separation by seeing differences between people or expressions of Divine resonance.
Yet no matter our country of origin, our ethnicity, religious or political beliefs, sexual orientation – or any other manner of evaluating differences that we may have – we are all equal. I don’t mean this from some air-fairy woo-woo way. Literally – we are all equal.
And there’s nothing we can do to change this. Nothing.
We do the same thing when we look at Divine resonance expressing as money or physical health – we see differences (separation).
But this is not the case.
What may be different is OUR experience with separation in different aspects of our lives.
That is our creation.
Remember: The Divine meets us exactly where we are.
And: letting go of control is the key to a greater experience of the Divine (without qualification).
Does this mean that byproducts of control are wrong or bad practice (for example: intentions)?
Not at all!!
Remember: surrender is the key. Complete surrender – not negotiated surrender.
As in: Wow these would be some great experiences to have in my life today. Then I let go of them completely. Not just the how – but also the what.
For I am a servant of the divine. When I get out of the way completely, I can be a conduit.
If I am in the way, there’s noise in the system and I am no longer a conduit.
I see this all the time in private sessions. I see this all the time in my life.
When I don’t get fully out of the way, there’s noise. When I do: conduit.
There is no difference between us.
When you don’t get fully out of the way, there’s noise. When you do: you are a conduit.
If it’s helpful, these are the steps to prepare for surrender that I teach (and utilize) – you’re welcome to use them in your life too:
1) Fully embody your soul.
2) Call your power home.
3) Pierce separation.
4) Experience your wholeness.
6) Practice the prior 5 all the time. 🙂
Sometimes in an attempt to be un-sanitized I turn down my passion for fear that I will come across too strong or sound like I’m preaching or coming from a moralistic perspective. I’m going to work on letting that go.
No need for me to be mild about the things I’d like to share with you. You always have the option of reading what I write – and agreeing, or not. As you know, I’m right alongside you figuring this stuff out on the same journey you’re on.
That’s it for this week … From My Heart.
Thanks for inviting me to share
The Soul Archaeologist
Experience the Divine Within