My Confession & Inauthentic BS – From My Heart #21
There’s a big gap between what I write, and what
I say, and I’m struggling with this.
I write things that make it sound like I think it’s
possible to have a perfect life, with no challenges
and everything perfect in the blink of an eye.
When I talk with people I say things like we’re
all in the same soup together. We all struggle
with the same things. We are all the same, and
there are some things we can do to start to
improve our lives and our experience of
ourselves. I talk about incremental movement
towards the goal, of tools and resources to
support that process. Of a journey that is
I write that we are all a undistorted extension
of the Divine – and we are. What I say is that
it takes work – building a practice and habituating
an experience to slowly over time change our
experience of our lives. There’s no magic pill.
I tell the story my friend Tim told me three years
ago when I asked him: “When will my life be
better?” I was referring to the radical difference
between the sacred space I was experiencing with
clients, and the experience of the rest of my life –
how a large percentage of my life felt like a major
mess, and very small percentage felt amazing, and
in alignment with my true nature.
Tim shared with me a story that Maharishi told
him when they spent time in Europe together
about how cloth is dyed in color and set out in
the sun over and over and over again. Until
one day the new color is secure. At this point –
perhaps thousands of times through the process
– the cloth now has a color that will not fade,
even if it is left out in the sun (where most cloth
would lose its color in time).
Tim’s story didn’t really inspire me. Truth is
it discouraged me. I didn’t want to work
that hard, and I didn’t think I could do it.
And it was real. These last three years
I’ve been doing a simple practice over
and over and over again. It has refined
and become more clear to me over time.
When I stop, I am quickly reminded of the
importance of this practice. And so I start
again. The times that used to be in the
majority, are now in the minority and
shrinking all the time. I believe it can
be the same for you.
And I’m still struggling with the difference
between what I write – and what I say
when I communicate what is available
for you, and how I can help you.
I’m working on it. The journey towards
authenticity hasn’t been an easy one
for me. It continues.
I’m grateful we’re on the journey together,
and I’m grateful for the time we’ve shared
together as you’ve read my words.
(originally written on 8/10/11)