Unexpected, Powerful Learning Experience Began with Judgement and Shame
Last week I had the most unexpected, powerful learning experience.
Earlier this year I hired a person I was referred to by a good friend to book me on podcasts. He’s been doing an amazing job, and I’ve been having a blast being interviewed by a wide range of wonderful people (Here’s a link to a list of the podcast interviews I’ve given if you’re interested in listening to any of them. More are being published on a regular basis, so I will be regularly updating this page).
One such interview was scheduled for last Wednesday. As we connected on zoom, I expected an exchange of pleasantries and brief discussion before the interview began. Instead, I was informed that I wouldn’t be interviewed because my consciousness wasn’t a fit for the kinds of guests the host normally interviews. I was told I didn’t understand the essential lesson of ‘what you resist persists’ with references to two posts I had made on Facebook from the beginning of the pandemic (one sharing concern and a link to an article about the antisemitic origin of QAnon, the other criticizing the movie “Plandemic”).
We had a conversation for 15 or 20 minutes before we disconnected, where I talked about what had gone on for me at the beginning of the pandemic and how my separate self had been enlivened, how I had in fact posted my objections and agitation to these two expressions (and others), and how powerful it had been for me in supporting the embodiment and integration process. The host seemed to want to school me on spirituality and debating our perspectives. I could feel the pull to defend or argue, but I didn’t get into it. My recollection of what unfolded was acknowledging that the interview wouldn’t happen, honoring the host’s choice, and stepping away from defending or arguing. Underneath, in the interior of what was unfolding – the noise that was enlivened in me – was an experience of being judged and shamed. I was embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Here’s the point of all of this: As it was happening the thought that kept going through my mind was: when have I done this exact same thing to others?
I’ve been thinking of those times when I thought I knew better, when I looked down on others thinking I had the truth (but they didn’t). When I felt superior and/or someone else seemed inferior. In other words, times when I was more identified with my separate self than my whole self.
The more I embody and integrate, the less I feel these things. Not because I’m trying to reject the separate feelings or perspective, but because as the noise underneath these feelings melts away and more of my whole self embodies and integrates, the more I can see my own developmental journey in consciousness as a beautiful experience without exception; the more I see the same in everyone; the more I see we are all the same (undistorted expressions of the Divine) – however different we might appear to be. Of how, even in our fully integrated state, each of us is having a unique experience, and often interpreting what is unfolding differently.
And perhaps most importantly, how we’re all (each of us on the planet) doing exactly what we need to do to integrate. Whether I’m capable of loving everyone exactly as they are (and as much as I love the Divine), it’s more and more (experientially) clear to me how unconditional divine love is for everyone and everything exactly as it is.
What began as an experience of frustration, embarrassment, and shame, has become an experience of love and appreciation. An unexpected and powerful spiritual masterclass. A reminder of how powerful the separate self is, in supporting the process of integration. The perfect close to the year and a profound experience upon which to meditate on this December solstice, 2022.
Happy solstice, happy holidays, and Happy New Year!
2022 has been a year of profound growth, embodiment, and integration. May you continue to open to extraordinary experience of Divine Presence and may the peace and love that are but two of its effects, flood through every aspect of your inner and outer being and life.
That’s all for this year … From My Heart.
I’m grateful we’re connected in this way; honored to be walking with you. Thank you for including me in your life.
Much Love and Peace,
Ken W. Stone
“The Soul Archaeologist”
Experience the Divine Within
Comes Down to One Thing