Experiencing Love — From My Heart
[Note: I started writing you yesterday (Wednesday) morning. I’ve left the time references as I wrote them, even though it’s taken me this morning (Thursday) to finish this week’s email to you.
Finally, deeply feel in your heart and soul and body that I am grateful for you. For our connection in this way – yes. But more importantly, for all the ways you show up in the world. For your gifts – those you know about and those you’ll discover today (and tomorrow, and so on). And all the ways you’ll share those gifts – first with yourself. Then with your family and your community, and simply in virtue of allowing your gifts to land first with you – the world. I see you and I celebrate you.]
Does the gap between knowledge and experience agitate you?
It has always agitated me.
Each aspect of my journey has been defined by this gap.
There’s always a deeper layer to peel back, a more complete experience of yourself, a new level of stepping into your power that’s available when you’re ready.
Apparently this week I was ready.
We gathered on Sunday earlier this week. Nine extraordinary women came to explore their true nature, step more fully into their purpose, their gifts, their Divinity.
I thought I knew my role: facilitator and leader of the retreat.
I am not writing you today about their experience.
I don’t even know how to put to words what happened last night …
A place of love and safety and support was opened for me to step into.
The witnessing presence seemingly multiplied by nine. In truth I could feel the infinite presence of the entire cosmos there to witness.
My shit was up for attention: knowing everything is Divine but not feeling the truth of that. Was it one thing I was tripping over – or one thing reflecting a multitude of imperfections I saw in myself? The latter to be sure. (I am so grateful for the mirror this morning – something I could have never said or felt prior to last night).
And then the deeper stuff, obscured by the surface. To step more fully accept my gifts and step into purpose.
To call home those aspects of myself abandoned earlier, yet so critically necessary for each of my next steps.
Words on the page … electrons on your screen – can’t adequately express the anguish and anger and fear that I confronted last night.
Nor can they begin to portray or share the depth of love that I felt. For myself … and from these wondrous women.
I woke up this morning, and I started crying. And then sobbing.
In gratitude for the dam that has burst.
The resolution of all those years of tension, feeling drawn yet resisting.
Before I was excited, scared, feeling unworthy, and afraid of the gifts that God has given me. Afraid of what I might do with them. Afraid of what it would mean to fully embrace and integrate them. Afraid of what it would mean to step more fully into my purpose.
The fear has passed. I have experienced a deeper, more comprehensive love.
I have once again stepped into the mystery. This time surrounded by these indescribably gifted and extraordinary souls, embodied in these beautiful women who are here to transform the world.
Last night they held the space and facilitated my transformation.
I didn’t hold back.
As painful as it was to walk into that fire, the transmuting power of that experience is something I wouldn’t trade for anything. I will remember it in gratitude and love for the rest of my life.
Last night I took another step into the gap between knowledge and experience.
And this morning, there is no resistance.
Everything is Divine. Everything!
Yes, even THAT!
I see it, I know it, I affirm it, I feel it in every aspect of my being.
The next time you have an opportunity to step into the gap between knowledge and experience – even though the flames may seem more than you can handle – I encourage you to run forward and take full advantage of that opportunity!
You honor your soul’s path when you do so.
To honor your soul’s path is to step into an experience of the deepest resonance. Don’t let the flames fool you. They are agents of transmutation – showing the way to a deeper, more complete and sustaining peace.
That’s it for this week … From My Heart.
The Soul Archaeologist
Experience the Divine Within